Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Pehli nazar mein aisa jaadu kar diya........

“Pehli nazar mein aisa jaadu kar diya “sings Atif Aslam in Race & Song becomes rage .But does Love at First Sight Happen? Question is as elusive as love itself .We don’t Know mainly because we don’t know when we fall for some person .or when we notice the special connection with that someone special.

Love at first sight may not be simply based on Physical Beauty .Because we come across many beautiful people but does not like them all. It is special connection we feel .in our heart we know this going to be special that’s the feeling we are talking about .Marriages are made in Heaven they say .Since we all are made in Couples & are bound to meet then Love at first sight is a reality .Most of the time we come across odd couple who does not look made of each other & wonder why they are together? ”He must be very rich” thought Comes to our mind...We can see many couples who physically doesn’t compliment each other & On our own decide that better looking one is really selfish & after their partner’s money .Doesn’t our this contention based on logic that people consider only looks while falling in love? But still claim “looks are not every thing” when questioned about our preferences? So even if we deny, inside we know that looks may or may not play major part in decision making.

Now we come to second theory of nature/Character /habits is what matters .At this point remember your best friend(s) who have stuck with you thru your thick & thin .If you closely look most of them will have qualities which you don t like Such as some may always comes late, some never keep the promise , some forgets your Birthday every year , some never call you for months some may be horrible at studies, some never got serious in life, some have friends whom you can not stand ,but you still love your friends ,because you accept them as they are . So its not qualities which makes people like each other.

Other illusion is about the ”Mr. Perfect” or “Ms. Perfect” ..This term should be always on individual basis & never on general basis .One person perfect for one may not be so for other .because couples should compliment each other qualities .so you can never generalize. So heartthrob of millions term should be have limited use of being used for complimenting the film stars. No one person can be liked by all the people however good may he be. I am restricting to people of being likable in a romantic way .


Now when & how people make decision about “Ms. Right”. when you are completely sure that other person is right one for you .This mostly depend on basic nature of person making decision .Even in day to day matters ,some people go by gut Feeling in there decision making while others do research, consult seniors(optional) and then take decision . Is that the difference between love at first sight & Falling in Love gradually .That some people conservative in their approach hence fail to recognize the special connection .or even worse does not want risk hence have wait & watch approach .

So ultimately there is no logic why we fall in love ,there may be instances when we spend so much time with individual .That we know him better than any one else. Still we don’t relate to him in a romantic way .But at a same time we fall for people we hardly know.
So it is not how much of time we spent together .or how well we know person either .it is just how I feel about someone .and that feeling is may be instant one or recognized over a period of time .Hence there can be Love at first sight .So start looking ….

PS: If you think writer is one of those desperate souls who eye each species of opposite sex as opportunity .Please don’t spread this fact. Try try but don’t cry.

Love is friend ship ............

“Guy & girl can not be friends if they find each other attractive “Said Harry to Sally, in Movie When Harry met Sally .”Ladka aur Ladki Kabhi Dost Nahi hote “Mohnish behl in Maine Pyaar Kiya .” My mind goes in to deep thought after listening to these dialogues ,more so because many of us have over the years shared ,what you Call , “Platonic” relationship with opposite sex. This outlook or concept will be more put forward or sometimes sweared by girls .because Girls by and large are conservative in their approach of finding Mr. Perfect & only when they are very sure they do start of thinking of giving relationship a new meaning .Until then as they claim they are “Just Friends”.”Maine tumhe kabhi us nazar se nahin dekha “But guys on other hand does not think that way they are more Bullish (as opposite of Conservative, to mean Robostic ) in their approach and make their decision more quickly then girls ,many will swear it is Love at First Sight .Hence start of it as “She is the one “ until they come across something which will prove or make the relationship something else.atleast with girls they find attractive .

This lead us to eternal or illusive question, Why two people who swear to be friend for life can t be life partners .

Some people are friendly by nature , you observe in office ,parties or any social gathering there will be people will move from one person to other .While some will stick to people they know .So lots depends on basic nature of person ,person who is more friendlier will have more opportunities of meeting new people .So person who meets lots of people or have lots of friends may require something special in person to have a romantic link up .Been there seen that people does not excite them, at all .So you may be nice ,friendly , good natured & too good to be their best friends but will not have uniqueness to be some one special .

Same theory can be extended to bring “Opposites attract” .All or say most of us make friendship due to similar background or similar tastes like same school , college, office profession, course, neighborhood, Dads are friends, etc .This & due to some strange reason most of our friends share some strange similarity.
Hence when we come across some one whose is opposite in nature he become much more interesting Also they will compliment each other.

Another theory is being in comfort zone..it is matter of preference & choice So when some one is your best friend you don’t want to risk it all .Other person may or may not be interested so whether it is worth risking such a great friendship .This dilemma haunt many of us & most decide otherwise . Further more there is this emotional attachment versus physical attraction Also while making friends who only need to have an emotional attachment not physical attraction however while to be romantically linked you need to have physical attraction however small importance you attach to it .

So Boys & girls can be friends , but can fall in love gradually .So as shahrukh said in kuch kuch hota hai “Pyaar Dosti Hai “